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Ninety-Eighth Edition

Kay (there's no such thing as an unplayable lie) Wall, golfhumorist.

Golf's premier agony aunt, Ms Kallas-Way, answers the questions you're too embarrassed to ask your pro

Improve your mental game with the humour column

Drop your handicap with the Illustrated Tips

Read the first chapter of Outlaw Golf

Golfhumour.com (updated 3-weekly) will exercise your golfing imagination more effectively than anything on the web.
Reading golfhumour.com will help you dazzle your pals at the 19th (your best place to impress, because you don't even have to touch a club).
Buy the novel Outlaw Golf to improve your game by opening up a completely new golfing dimension.

This is the website of New Zealander, Kay Wall, Outlaw Golf author; magazine humour columnist/cartoonist and 1996 Fiji Ladies Open Golf Champion. She also writes poetry, does editing work and works as a herdtester to pay the bills.

What's In Kay's Golf Bag?

A dilapidated set of 15 yr old Wilson 1200 LTs. (Kay is possibly one of the few living golfers still using wooden woods.)
A Wilson 10 degree driver, which is only used to slice longish shots under trees.
A Wilson 3-wood for fairway and tee shots.
A Spalding XL4 4-wood is great for crummy lies and is even older than the Wilsons.
The Wilson 5-wood is good for retrieving balls from water hazards.
A matching set of Wilson irons from 3 to sand wedge completes the set.
The old rattly putter, kicked too often, has gone. I've just bought a Srixon putter, the first club I've purchased in 15 years. Hopefully this one won't need kicking.

What's In Kay's Golf Shoes?

A flattened big toe on her right foot, which means she's prone to a reverse pivot.
Definitely NOT in Kay's shoes are those ridiculous socks with pom-poms.
Underneath Kay's shoes are those dreadful plastic sprigs. (Kay prefers metal sprigs—noted for their self-defense properties.)

Golfhumour.com is also the home of Ms Kallas-Way, golf's premier Agony Aunt. The one person unafraid to answer all those questions you're too embarrassed to ask your pro.

Rest assured that Ms Kallas-Way isn't one of those Internet cranks masquerading as an expert. Having twice read Outlaw Golf, she has the highest credentials in her fairway.

Send me an email about anything concerning this website, or even regular golf, at Kay@IllustratedTips or seek agony aunt advice from MsKallas-Way@AgonyAunt.

If you want to go on the golfhumour.com mailing list to be informed when the site is updated, send an email to: Website Updated and you'll be sent a reminder every 3 weeks.

To buy Outlaw Golf, click here: Buy Outlaw Golf

To read the first chapter before making your decision, click here: OUTLAW GOLF

Click on HumourColumn to discover how to make more money out of golf carts, and speed up play at the same time.

KAY'S ILLUSTRATED GOLF TIPS

What golfing publication is complete without those essential tips to help you enjoy the game and get the most out of your hours on the course?

It was going to be this one, when I found out how much the pros charge just to write, 'keep your eyes down and maintain a flexed right knee'.

But everyone wants to read 'how-to-do-it' so I've cut out the middle-man to bring you the most concise golfing advice you'll ever receive. Every 3 weeks, you'll get golf instruction which anyone can follow.

NUMBER NINETY-EIGHT

Poor balance equals a poor swing. If you're unbalanced, find a mudslide (nowhere near a faultline) which has settled for about a week—the mud will still be slippery but only your feet will slide, not the whole hillside. Start with a quarter swing and when you can build up to a full swing, without falling over, your balance will be perfect when you go back to the fairways. NB. Set up at least 50 metres from the bottom of the hill so you have a prime incentive not to lose your balance. Having to scrabble back up to your practice balls, more than once, will sharpen your focus.

Are there any golf problems you'd like my personal advice on? Email me at: Kay@IllustratedTips to enter the random draw to win the golfhumour.com Illustrated Tips calendar.

At golfhumour.com I focus on the fun aspect of golf. It's a way of enjoying The Game, no matter how you play.

Outlaw Golf was written with the same philosophy. It's a comic melodrama—an apt description for any round of golf, which always involves throbbing emotions, robust theatricality and Greek inevitability. To read the first chapter, click here: OUTLAW GOLF

All writing on the golfhumour.com website is copyrighted. Nothing may be reproduced without my written permission. I will prosecute media pirates to the fullest extent of the law.

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