ARCHIVED GOLFHUMOUR

[HOMEPAGE] [ARCHIVES]


SHOULD VIDEO LESSONS BE CENSORED?
Nightmare on the Driving Range.

Golf video lessons are becoming increasingly popular and most pros now use them. However, what to the pro is a valuable teaching aid can often be ego-shattering to the pupil.

They eagerly lean forward to watch themselves on screen, eyes bright and dying to see that full shoulder turn and perfect pivot. One look and then they jerk back, eyes shielded behind their hands, trembling uncontrollably as if they've just seen The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Which leads to an important question. Should these videos come with a warning (contents may disturb) or even an age restriction? Or, because they're for private viewing, should they be exempt from censorhip?

The jury is still out. While it has been argued that the person watching the video is the person being filmed, and therefore should not be shocked by the portrayal, anecdotal evidence shows that this is seldom the case.

And what if these movies fall into the wrong hands? Imagine the damage done to impressionable young minds if the golfer's children see them and then grow up swinging like Donald Duck?

The people who make these movies know that there is a huge market for this kind of degenerate stuff.

They insist that a video lesson is a valuable teaching aid. In the right hands, I'm inclined to agree. If the pupil can overcome their initial reaction, watching their swing may convince them that yes, they do indeed have a reverse pivot.

So the answer to effective use of golf videos is not censorship but ... preparation. Golf coaches are going to have to take as much time preparing their students to see their swing, as they do teaching them.

Of course reactions will differ and what may upset one won't upset another. Because I am a survivor of video instruction, I am producing a pamphlet especially for teaching pros.

Personal experience and extensive research have shown that first you must identify the type of golfer so you can structure the lesson accordingly. Their questions and comments in your five minute introduction will indicate their grouping.

The types and, how to deal with them, follow:

The Mystery Golfer

Easy one to pick. "Why can't I hit it straight? Why do I have so many topped shots? Why do I play lousy after a lesson?"
This type of golfer generally reacts well to video lessons as their problem can be pointed out and the solution demonstrated.
Minimal preparation needed but wear a Sherlock Holmes hat and smoke a curved pipe to guarantee they'll listen.

The Myth Golfer

(Often confused with the lisp golfer—"I mithed it".) "I don't really need a lesson. I can pick up all the help I need from watching the pros on TV. And the magazine articles only point out things I already knew. If I only had more time, I'd be on single figures."
Can't prepare this one. They absolutely refuse to believe their eyes and will insist it's a trick of the light.
Just nod sympathetically, but make sure you get their money first.

The Suspense Golfer

"You're going to change my grip, aren't you? My friends always tell me I've got a weak grip and should get my left hand around further. That's it, isn't it ... my grip? No, you don't think so? Then it must be my alignment ... it's too open, isn't it? You're going to square my shoulders up, aren't you? No?"
Not a difficult pupil, if you can get a word in edgewise. Their initial shock upon viewing the swing soon dissipates when you suggest a solution. It's imperative that you continually remind them to breathe as they gasp a lot and hold their breath. Unfortunately, you'll never stop them telling you what you are going to do.

The Action Golfer

"Whaddaya mean, slow my swing down? You might have all the time in the world but some of us have to do real work and put in real hours to earn a living. There's nothing wrong with a quick swing if it gets me around faster and back to my business."
Put the video on fast forward and forget about lessons. He's not worried by anything as trivial as a score.

The 'Action' golfer often leads to the next type of video golfer—

The War Golfer

Or warrior. "I don't believe that idiot hit up on us! I'll teach him who's slow. I'll hit his ball back." THWACK. "Great, that made him duck... Unbelievable! He's doing it again!" Whereupon, battle commences.
You'll pick this pupil out by the clubhead-shaped bruises on his face and the dimpled imprints on exposed skin.
Make sure he has nothing in his hands when he watches his lesson.

The Romance Golfer

These always come in pairs. On the course they'll take forever to find their balls in the trees. They'll hold hands as you instruct. You'll have to get your lesson across in the first five minutes or they'll sit in the back row and play their own game.

The Fantasy Golfer

"I figure I'll be on single figures after a couple of lessons. I pick up everything real fast and I'm sure golf will be no exception."
Be very careful with this one. This person is completely out of touch with reality. The swing they imagined mimicked Ernie Els is about to be shown as one resembling Alan Shepherd's when in full astronautical attire.
Sit them comfortably, play soothing music and have their favourite beverage on hand.

I'll deal with the 'sci-fi' golfers in a future column when I've got a lot more 'space'.

© Kay Wall 2006
NEXT PAGE
Return to top